Hi, My Name is:

I mentioned a couple posts back about trying to tag stages of my life with adjectives (or other grammatical words, as I'm not sure what this coming word is) , and I think I have a new one:

This stage is called Digging.

Digging through thoughts, Digging through decisions, Digging through feelings, Digging through my spirit.

I couldn't tell you in so many words what I'm Digging "for" persay, maybe because I haven't finished yet. Kind of waiting for that tell-tale "Thump" that always happens when people are Digging for a chest, or coffin, or time-capsule in movies. I'm waiting for the shovel to hit something solid.
Maybe I can say what I'm NOT Digging for? Yeah, I'll try that.

I'm not Digging for contentment, as I don't want to be content with where I am right now, and I mean that in a non-locational sense. I don't know if I ever want to be content. Not that it wouldn' be nice, it just seems kind of dangerous.

I'm not Digging for answers, which is strange, because I don't have a lot of questions right now. For the first time in a long time I am not consumed with curiosity. Praise.

I'm not Digging for happiness, because I am not sad. But at the same time, I'm not completely happy. And that's ok . Happy people normally don't go around Digging.

I'm not Digging for treasure. I'm fairly sure of that, but I won't complain if that's what I find.

I think most of all, I'm not Digging just for the sake of Digging. That's a good thing to know.
And so, I wait for a thump; something to tell me that this pile of dirt behind me was covering something important.

But maybe, I just needed to Dig.

Swings in that Park

Tonight, I cried..
A tear for him, tears for her.
But mostly, I cried for them. I cried for them all.
I think they needed someone to cry for them.
Tonight, I cried.