The Changing of the Seasons

I think this one's gonna be really different. I think all Christmases are, but this one is going to be the most different Christmas season I've had in many years. Im surrounded by completely different people than I have been the past four years, I can't really buy any Christmas presents (which is upsetting as I usually love buying everyone thoughtful gifts) due to lack of funds. I've grown a lot, and appreciate different things in different ways now, but also I appreciate old things in new ways. Come to think of it, there's not really one thing that is the same other than family Christmas stuff, but even that might be a little bit different.

Change comes like snow this time of year. Unpredictable yet fragile, as if a doubtful thought or glance upward might scare the beautiful, mysterious fluff away.

Here's the thing.. It seems as if nothing but change has been happening to my life since Summer of this year started. And there was a multitude of triggers for this change. And how I react to all the changes has been the determining factor of the next change that happens. I said I wanted change, and I did/do, but I'm still waiting for it to level out and plateau. I guess where the snow comes in is how unpredictable and gently powerful all this has been in my life. But at the same time, how delicate this time has been.(Like snow? just roll with it) Now, how do you deal with something like this? I wish I knew. I'm stuck doing trial and error most of the time.

This brings us back to now, and Christmas time. I had kind of hoped things would be all smooth and creamy by now, but, lo and behold, I have no clue what's ahead.. in the slightest. BUT we're rolling with that. God has me in this perpetual limbo of uncertainty and inefficiency, and Gods knows when that will end. I think that's where we're (and by we're I mean "I'm") supposed to be now, if not always.

On the up side of things, I've been thinking this week of how much God has blessed me this second half of the year with the most wonderful new friends of all ages, shapes, sizes, colors, hair styles, and etc. He's put a smattering of different personalites in my path and I have never laughed so much, smiled so much, been so full, or thankful in a very long time. I will miss so very much some old Christmas traditons with old friends, but I'm excited to see what will come of these new blessings. What is Christmas for if not for that perpetual feeling of the nostalgic "warm fuzzies", or for giving giving giving? And first and oh so foremost, what is Christmas for if not for remembering that a perfect, sovereign, mighty, precious, beautiful, loving, just God became a baby in Jesus Christ so that His people could worship Him forever in Heaven and on Earth until the last of days.

Well, there's that...

P.S. Most of you have discovered or experienced my strange love for cold weather. Today was the coldest day of the year so far. Dark, gloomy, overcast, lovely, a bit transcendental when you look at the sky. Kind of made everything swirl together and calm down in my head. Freezing, but a beautiful day.

9(nine) hours: An Adventure through Shuffle

Time completely alone is such a uniquely fabulous thing.

There have not been many times,recently, that I am completely alone with my thoughts for a prolonged amount of time. I think that that's for a reason though. I don't need complete prolonged solitude very often. I'm a write/talk(rarely) out my thoughts and inklings, then share kind of person. I do enjoy good long conversations, those are on my top 10 favorite things list. But I think God designed prolonged solitude for reflection, or at least that's what this drive was for me.

Shuffle (in terms of an iPod) is such an interesting phenomena in my life. Doubly so on this particular drive from Dallas to Fayettville, and Fayettville to Arkadelphia. I didn't even think a lot during it. In fact there was maybe 3 minutes of silence the entire time. I was more led through thought processes by my 2.6 day, 933 song, long playlist I'd carefully constructed for this undertaking. It was like there was a train of music trudging through all these experiences and ponderings I've been harboring in my head the past months or so. This train would pick up a thought here, a possibility there, and would keep on trudging through different songs/stations and drop off these"passengers" in a different/new area of thought, and things just began to click. Some songs provoked a more spiritually provoking "passenger" to get on the train, and it would sit down and talk to another passenger who might be a simple emotion or an observation I've been neglecting to process. Before I knew it, a lot of inputs my heart and head have been processing for a long time, became outputs at last. Solidified, fixed, and encoded, for the most part.

I've been trying to tag stages of my life with words lately. Mostly, just for fun, but also for some much needed introspection. The word I came up with after this Train ride in my car was this:

Free.

I can't express how surprised I was to discover this adjective. The thing is, it's noun form (freedom, for those of you not following), was not what came to mind. (I have not seen fit to say I am experiencing freedom, because I have recently decided that I do not have freedom, as I am, or strive to be, a slave to Christ.) I am feeling free in every aspect of the word.

For some reason God has chosen these past two moths or so for me to be broken before Him, and because of Him, alone. I've been going through this healing time a bit blindly, and whenever I decided I was better, Father would knock me back down and shake his head, saying "You're not done healing until I say so. And you won't be done until you do it my way, ye of little faith." So, that's been the story of my heart: Trial and error. Lots of trials, and many errors have led me to now, the end before the beginning. This beginning is me seeing how endlessly helpless I am without Christ, and acting this realization out as best I can. I've never been that (past tense feels good) broken inside and out in my life, and I am a huge believer in Father using brokenness to draw us to himself, and this time has been no exception. I didn't resist his drawing, but I just came a little slower than He would've liked, I think. I prayed that I would be desperate for Him and boy did he answer. Desperation galore. Someone wise once told me that the "desperate prayer" is one of the most dangerous prayers you can pray, and I prayed before praying it, and it's what I needed.

I don't have an adjective for this new stage yet, because it just opened up this past week/weekend, but I'll let you know when I find it. Until then, this train of thought will be loading and unloading for a while, I hope. I only got through 276 songs, so I've got about 700 songs of thinking left to do.

But hey, how many roads, right?

P.S. Cold weather makes me sit and think a lot, as well. Get your scarves and gloves ready. :)

Talks and Rocks

Don't read into that title...

I suppose it's the "about to leave for college"-ness, and the "school startingness" that hangs over Rockwall this time of year that causes people to want to catch up more than usual, but I have really enjoyed it. I'm actually kind of upset at myself for putting it off until there's two weeks left, because I've been missing out this past year on some super neat people. I've always been one to enjoy good long talks about anything and everything with some depth and meaning mixed in, and in like the past week, I've had like 5 good conversations. I miss that. These talks used to be a weekly occurrence for me, but they haven't been before this summer.  

I don't have a ton of deep thoughts.. mostly just ready for a new normal. I very vividly recall typing that sentence about 2 years ago on xanga, and didn't expect to be typing it again this soon, but here we are none the less.  And not just because the old normal is gone and college is starting and I'm curious about new people and stuff, but what is normal going to look like for me in a year? Two? Ten? I have no clue. and I'm ready for a clue. But just that Don't bring the curtain up, but at least stick a sign out saying when the show will start. Normal is something totally relative, but what I feel like my life is right now is not normal.. It's very in between and something's going to give in me. Something about me will leave or something new will come in, just like it did last time I typed that sentence and what the HECK is it..

I've mentioned this to a couple of friends about how the first two or three weeks of college will be everyone sizing each other up, and first impressions and all. And i've been thinking, what an opportunity to seize. These people don't know who I am, what I'm about, and better yet, what my major flaws are. I have this golden ticket to get rid of the things I want to change, and no one will be the wiser, and I will be better for it. How often in life does that happen? where you're thrust into an environment where everyone is strangers pretty much, and it's up to you to show them who you are.  Of course I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not, and I'm not going to put on an act, but I want to start to practice things I've learned that could better myself and the way I represent Father to others. For starters : Gentleness. A quality that gets passed over usually, but one that is so needed in my life. I don't think I'm super abrupt or too in your face or critical, but I'm definitely not someone who would be described as gentle, I don't think. When I walk into a room, I'm pretty sure that other's spirits aren't more at rest than before. When I open my mouth, I don't spread peace with the content and tone of my words. Am I always approachable? Am I always ready to calm a storm? Sure I don't want to be this calm docile creature who is always smiling and saying "God bless you..I mean it", but from different sources, first impressions of me have been that I am intense. My sarcasm is over the top, and they are scared to get too close to me. How heartbreaking. I'm sure Jesus was funny. I know for a fact the greatest missionary ever (Paul) is one of the sassiest sarcastic people I've ever heard of, but it's the timing. It's the tones, it's the faces that accompany words, it's body language, it's the turning it off when I need to that makes and breaks my efforts to be gentle. And something that must come with gentleness I've discovered is discernment and wisdom beyond anything I can do by myself. I've been praying for wisdom since I was in 11th grade and I feel that God has blessed me with a good bit, but do I use it in the right ways, and places, if at all as much as I need to? It's a lot of pressure..But this is way to valuable an opportunity to give up on. I've kind of started to get better, but being Gentle is a lot harder than just shutting up more than normal.. and with that, I leave you with this..Somehow, that Paul always knows how to get me. Darn him!

Colossians 4:5-6 Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders. Make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversations be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

seriously??...did I not just say I needed to do all of that? It's like Jesus lives inside me or something and tells me what needs to happen, and if I don't listen, he just does it anyway..

and THAT, my friends, was sarcastic. 

P.S.- Winter, please come with haste

South Africa 6 - Thurs July 10, '08

On the plane from Durban.

Going home today... Woke up at 6:20 as usual, packed, made a quick stop at the gift shop there at Lake Eland to buy assorted African things, then left for the airport, got there on time, got on the plane on time (weird) and here we are.

Yesterday was a good day, but I was NOT ready for this week to end. Rehoboth in the morning was like the other, which was good not to have an ominous feeling over the day. Jacob Way told the salvation story and a few of the older kids were very very attentive. And it was so cute, while we were singing Jesus Loves Me, there was these two little ones about 3 yrs old I think, and they were just screaming at the top of there lungs, "JEEESSSUUUUUSSSS LOOOOOOVVVEEEESSS MEEEEEEE!!!" while the other were singing normally..It was so cute, we were all cracking up. Then for the craft we made those salvation bracelets with the 5 colored beads on them and they liked it alright. Not to into it. 

The rest of our time was spent playing and laughing and loving as it should be. I know I've said it over and over again but these children are just so happy and healthy and full of love you would NEVER know they are HIV+. Kind of heart breaking, but so encouraging that they're in a place where they can be children and grow up normally.

Saying goodbye was hard. As expected. We had just finished face painting and cleaned everything up and I knew it was coming. But the strange thing was, the kids knew as well as we did. Usually things like this end with us saying goodbye to the kids and they say goodbye all happy like they'll see us tomorrow or something, while we're all crying and sad. But there was a few, like Siya, Samke, and Mpilo who were as sad as we were, and they are like 5 and 7 years old. They knew we weren't going to be coming back for a long time. I didn't feel like crying until my favorite little boy, Mpilo, came up to hug me goodbye and I sat down on the ground to hold him and he said in his ute little British and South African accent, "You mustn't go Auntie Katy.." Oh man... I just hugged him close and cried a little for a good while. He was such a sweetheart the whole week. And he would dance sooo cute-ly when they'd sing their beautiful songs in the morning. It looked like he was marching around..

After regaining some composure, we all said goodbye to the kids one last time, and walked over to the office with Alfons to drop of clothes and toys and things we were leaving there.  He thanked us so much and said what a blessing we were and to come back as soon as we could. Then he prayed over us a very sincere and honest prayer. All the people here pray so passionately and honestly... I wish I could be more like that.

We ate lunch at Leopard Rock again, then went back to the church around 4 or so. There they gave us the option of going back to the hospice or staying in the church for the next hour and a half, cause they knew some of us had a really hard time with it. Needless to say I was very torn..I knew that I myself did not want to go at all, but there was a part of me that knew I needed to go back.. So I said "ok God..I'll go for like 20 minutes" I can do 20 minutes.. I just would go straight to Ruth, the woman I had connected with the first time. So we walked over there. Janine Dillow had brought a suitcase full of beautiful head scarves to give to the nurses and patients, so we grabbed a bunch of those and started to hand them out to the ladies, and they all just smiled so big and looked like they felt like the prettiest woman in  the world. It was a blessing to be able to bring them some happiness. Then me and Lauren walked over to Ruth's bed and when she picked out her scarf she was so happy, but more happy that we'd come back to see her. We talked to her about her kids (they had called to talk the day before) and how they were coming to visit her on thursday, and about how awful the soap operas were, and just small talk really. She said she was feeling a bit better today than even the day before, so that was good. Then Lauren came back from handing out the rest of her scarves and had an extra one. So she gave it to Ruth saying that she should give it to her daughter when she comes. That was huge. That she would have something to offer her daughter was a big deal and she was just smiling and saying thank you thank you over and over. Then she said "I wish I had something to give my son, I guess I'll just give him some candy"  Right as she was saying that I put my hand in my pocket for some reason and felt an aswered prayer. That morning at rehoboth when we had been making the bracelets, I had been handing out beads so I had a bunh of extras in my pocket. Not onlythat, but I had an extra bracelet already made too! So I took it out and said, "Here! give this to him. And let me tell you what the beads mean so you can tell your son! and here's more beads so you can make more!" (One of the things the center does with the women is beadwork once or twice a week...crazy). I told her what they stood for and she lit up when I said that the Gold one stood for heaven where we'll be with Jesus forever. What an incredible God-coincidence that was. Then we prayed over her for a long time, said goodbye and walked out feeling so very blessed and encouraged and satisfied that God had used me when I knew that it was impossible on my own yet again. I looked at the clock and I had been in there for 1 and a half hours... The Joy of Obedience

----

It's 9:00 pm now and we're sitting on the 747 airplane about to leave for London after a lovely 8 hours in the Joburg Airport. We played spaids for a while and shopped and such. I'm pretty excited. I decided that I absolutely love long plane rides. I love airplane food and the cute lil trays it comes on, the socks and eye mask they give you, the blankets, the pillows, the tvs, the long playlists on you iPod, although Ive had no good ones lately....everything. Except when you someone asks you to switch seats and the seat you end up in has 5 kids ages 5 and under sitting right in front of you stomping around and peeking over the seat for 9 hours...but! hey..it's ok

See you on the other side.. Can't say I'm just pumped about going home, but I'll love getting to see you all. I know you'll be reading these like days after I get back, but know that all of your prayers, support and thoughts that were with us this wee were sucha  huge blessing, and it would've been impossible without you guys' obedience as well as ours. Hope you had a wonderful week, I know I have.

I also know I'll be coming back here...soon :)

over and out

Katy

South Africa 5 - July 8, '08 0:15 (12:15 am)

Today was the most amazing day yet. Got to Rehoboth at like 8:15 and got to hear the devotional and singing again...so good. The Auntie that sings has a voice like I've never heard. Doesn't sound like aretha franklin or other big black ladies, but it's just different. The vibrato and the tones were so pure and just unique. Ah. The rest of the the morning went the same as yesterday. I told the story of Jonah, then we made wales out of paper bags. They weren't to into it.  These kids are just amazing. I'll name a few. Mpilo (pee-loh), Nosipo, Lucky Joshua, Aphiwe (a-pee-way), Sampson, Lebo, Siya, Vuyo, Namcle, Mbongeni, Londiwe, Brightness, Happiness, Nathan, Yaya (the last two are Alfons and Yvonne's kids), Namsile, Samke, and many more. Then we just played again. They loved the balloon animals so much.. They all wanted swords. Then we left for the Kulah Club, which was out in a village by Lake eland. It was run by Pastor Joseph who led a village church there. It was surrounded by mountains and plateaus and trees..I took pictures. They just aren't loading yet. It's an all day program that provides meals for children, parents, and just fun and protection for kids of all ages and sizes. We got there around 1:30 and there was like 100 kids there. Most didn't speak English, but it didn't matter. Our adult team had been there all day and yesterday so they were playing and singing with them. So we just played and held kids for awhile, then Joel and Courtney warren started to pass out stickers so I offered to help and they swarmed. All just holding up their lil hands to me like I was holding life and they wanted some. These stickers were barely the size of a fingernail but it made their face light up and brought so much happiness. I wanted to cry. I was just peeling and sticking and praying for them with all of my heart. The older girls who were holding kids who they most likely care for all the time would hold up the little ones hands and then walk away.. I called them back and gave them one too and they just looked at me with the most thankful eyes. Overjoyed because they got a piece of sticky paper with a few colors. This was blowing my mind. Because of AIDS, parents are dying, leaving 4 or 5 kids usually to fend for themselves. The older one takes over the role of parent, and when they die, it carries on as such. The adult team got to go out into the village and see a home the size of room where a 13 yr old girl was caring for 5 kids on her own. Her house had been destroyed by a flood that came through,and the church had built a new one, but it was so small, but huge to her. 

As the day there was ending There were a few kids who had latched onto me and I them so we were just walking around, then there was about 10 older women who helped there and they started to sing and dance so loudly and everyone gathered to watch and sing along. It was so amazing. We all danced and sang songs in Zulu. Pastor Joseph walked over to me during this and just said to me so sincerely, "We will NEVER forget your visit to us. You are sent from God" over and over again as these women praised God in Zulu around us. God's presence was so overwhelming. I asked him what they were saying, and he said "they are singing 'There is no one like our Jesus". The kids I was holding on to were fighting over my hands and when I looked down I saw that one girl who like 5 was taking her stickers off her hand and putting them on mine..She looked into my eyes and was just smiling so big. Those stickers she's waited about 30 minutes for, and that made her so happy, she was placing on my hands, and smiling with more joy than before. This made me lose it.. I bent down and just hugged all 4 of them to my chest and cried and prayed and was just so happy and sad at the same time.. 

The women continued to sing and the children would harmonize and I just stared at the sky, and the hills surrounding us and was just so..full. Some of the happiest tears I've ever cried. Then Pastor Joseph got up to pray, and he prayed in English first the most passionate and sincere prayer I've ever heard. He prayed for Jesus to be their portion, and nothing else. We left there very uplifted. Praise God today...man

Then we got to go on a safari drive through the Game reserve we were staying at that week and it was soooooo freakin neat. We saw 5 Zebras, 3 real non zoo like Giraffes, lots of Springbok and eland, and other deerish creatures, wart hogs, some birds and lots of gorgeous mountains and trees and nature. Then we went to the suspension bridge that goes over the Oribi gorge and across the deepest place in South Africa. Hoooly nuts. It looked like the bridges that always break in the movies.. HA. So awesome though. Took lots of pictures. The sun was setting as we pulled away and it was the perfect end to a perfect day. 

Tomorrow, Wednesday, is our last day here. It's been such a ride. Such joy out of such sadnes.. We are being blessed as much or more than we are blessing these people. Isn't God just amazing. I'm so glad this week came when it did. My heart is healing, but I'm afraid of going home and wounds reopening..but we'll cross that gorge when it comes..

Katy

SA 4 - Tues July 8, '08 7:43 am

Yesterday was an interesting day. It was our first real day at Rehoboth. We arrived around 8:30 to catch the end of their morning devotional (they do one every morning and translate into Zulu as well). When they finished all the children and one of the aunties (women who aren't mums but stay there like 3 days a week) stood up and sang a song in Zulu and it was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in my entire life. It brought tears to my eyes to see 25 kids who have one of the most awful diseases known to man singing and dancing an praising God so joyfully. What an encouragement. I hope we get to hear it again. Then we split them up into 3-6 year olds and 6-11 yr olds. I went with Hunter Beauchamp, Brandon Bambico, Jacob Way and Claire Jordan with the older kids and for about 30 minutes we just played, learned their names, played tag and some other lightly organized games. Then we all met back together and Hunter told the story of David and Goliath. Hilarious. We sang some songs, they sang some songs, then we split back up and we made a craft with the older kids. then we just playe with all the stuff we brought until we had to leave at 13:00 (1:oopm). Bubbles jump rope, tag, more bubbles, play doh, coloring books, etc. They LOVE bubbles and gettin their picture taken. 

The whole time I'm thinking, "This is it. I feel at home. My soul feels at rest here." I was just so satisfied in the joy just seeping out these children. then we had to leave, and we went and ate some interesting pizza, then began doing the most spiritually and emotionally challenging thing I've ever done. We walked over to the Genesis Car center which is a hospice for AIDS patients. It was an amazing place..first you must understand that I'd been praying about going here for 4 days, just telling God how incredibly terrified I was to go there. Dying people are just so far off of my spiritual comfort zone radar. I have really awkward reactions when I hear bad news, and I don't know what to say, ask, feel do, how loud to talk..Just all these things that were scaring me to death. I'd been praying for power because I knew without a doubt that I couldn't do it, so it would have to be God doing it through me.

So Sharon, the manager of the care center, gave us a run down on just how the center worked, and what they believed and stuff. She said that they get the patients from hospitals after they send the people away saying "We can't do anything else for you, go home and die". She said 45% of the patients that come into the center actually walk out healthy enough to go live at home again and work and have a life. How amazing is that! I'm telling you this place was just overflowing with love and hope and the holy spirit. I was still scared though.  I walked into the womens ward with Ami Cheek and Lauren Wuest, and right off the bat Ami just walks up to the woman in the first bed, grabs her hand, starts stroking her head, and talking to her just like you'd talk to a friend in the hospital. That made me feel a bit better. So we talked to a few more, then walked over to the mens ward and met a man named "Power". HE just kept talking about how much hope he had for his life since he came there and how nice the nurses are and what great care he gets and just how wonderful it was compared to being at home because in that culture people with AIDS are stigmatized and exiled in their villages and die alone and undignified. So he went on and on and Ami asked him how long he'd been at the center and he said, get this, he got there THAT morning....ONE morning totally changed this man's life. Praise God. So we prayed with him, then me and Lauren walked back over to the women's ward feeling better, but still nervous. We met a woman named Ruth. we held her hand as she told us about her kids who are 27 and 15. She looked like she was about 36 or so but she was 44.  We asked how she was feeling and just talked like we were friends. In silences I would pray for God to just tell me what to say or what to do and i worked.. We prayed over her, said goodbye, and walked out. I still felt very uncomfortable, but was so joyful because all I did was walk in and God did the rest. That felt good to know God used me when I knew it was impossible by myself. How awesome is that. I'm not sure if I'll go back, but it was a great experience. Can't wait to see what today is like.

We eat out every night and the food is always good, no worries :) Miss ya'll! 

Katy

South Africa 3- Sunday July 6, 2008

At Norwegian Settlers Church this morning.

SOO cold last night at the Game reserve, but really fun with all the girls. Came to church this morning and what a blessing it has been to be encouraged by such a great cloud of witnesses. 

We got to go to Rehoboth Village, or the orphanage, yesterday after an awesome lunch at Leopard rock overlooking the Oribi Gorge. It was Gorge-ous..pah. We finally got to see the kids I've been praying for for months and my heart was leaping in my chest. I couldn't stop smiling the entire time. All 24 or so of the children are HIV+, but you really wouldn't know it just by looking. Most of them were happy, active, and real children. They were not charity to the couple who ran it, (Alfons and Yvonne, a white couple from denmark) or to the house mothers. This orphanage is so unique because it gives the children a  family. There are 11 houses in the village and each one if self sufficient with washers kitchen bathroom everything. There are 4  kids to a house with a mum to look after them. And she is their real mother. It is no job to them. The kids aren't just loved 4 hours a day when someone sees them, they are loved 24/7 and are taught how much God loves them as well. Because of the undeniable presence of God there, Alfons showed us many examples of children who came in emaciated and dying, and now are healthy and lead normal lives thanks to love, prayers, proper medication and nourishment, and the power of God. It was incredible to see just the vision streaming from these people. They want to start villages like this all over africa, and are actually working on it! They had story after story of how their faith in God to provide had paid off at the last minute. He kept saying over and over "You just have to walk on water. You can only stand in the boat so long."

I'm at the church now watching and listening to a sermon form a man so full of God's blessing and spirit I can almost see Him standing next to him. Pastor Trevor. Man. Such a  wonderful start to the day...         

We get to watch a Rugby match after church!!! (the entire team is sitting behind us and lemme tell ya. like 30 very handsome burly men all in one place about to slam into each other running full speed. OH my.) Then, we're going to Merchison Hospital to minister to the kids and women there and have a lil party.

 Very excited, but sad we only have 4 days here..

Katy

South Africa 2- Sat July 5, 2008

DAY 4 OF TRAVEL..I grow weary.. 

So someone just made the executive decision to book us on a flight out in the morning at 6:55 and British Airways would comp us for the hotel, food, and transportation. So I get on the bus to the hootel expecting a motel 6 to pop up in front of me, and round the corner pops a lovely glass building named the Southern Sun. Also the name of our hotel. Folks it was niiiice. And everyone got here own room, except the youth had two to a room which was still nice because you got your own queen size bed. Two awesome meals, nice hot long showers and lots of rest. This turned out to be a blessing because now we won't be all jet lagged when we actually get there, knock on wood.

We left the hotel at 5:30a for our 6:55 flight. It's now 6:23 and we haven't gone through security yet.. South African I'm learning are very accommodating, but NEVER in a hurry. I really hope we don't miss this flight. I think I'll cry. We'll only have 4 and a half days, as it is, there. I couldn't sleep last night, of all nights. I'd have very short, sad, uncomfortable dreams every time I closed my eyes and I'd wake up crying..I hate crying. So I stared at the clock and thought about stuff and sang to myself, praying for rest, but none came until 3 am, only to be woken up at 4:30. So right now, I feel okay, thanks to coffee, but FOUR days and three times zones is going to catch up with me sometime. Pray it doesn't.

I so want to be writing about the adorable little kids I'm meeting, and the wonderful people we're serving with, but God has willed otherwise it seems. 6:30 am now and still not through security. I can't wait anymore!

I'm curious as to whether God will put Africa on my heart as much as others seems to have it. I remember praying before I went to Germany for God to show me whether or not I was called to live overseas, or called to Germany or whatever, and he answered no I'm pretty sure. BUt I know I have a passions for missions, children, family, and traveling, and this trip has a lot of all of those things, so maybe I might end up here in the future, or just come here often..who knows.

We made it on the plane. got to he gate just as it was boarding. Praise the Jesus. Now when we get to Durban we'll jump on a bus for 2 hrs and head to Port Shepstone, and then the youth will drive another hour to Lake Eland Game Reserve where we're staying. At least that's the Tentative plan. I have a feeling it'll be this way al week. Bring it on!

landed at 7:50 am.. go time

Katy

South Africa-1 Friday July 4, 2008

So we're all sitting in the airport in Johannesburg (henceforth known as Joburg), South Africa waiting for the CHANCE to get on a plane to Durban. Our itinerary was insane to start with, but now it's even more nuts. It was as Such:

1. Leave DFW for London- 8hr flight, arrived at 8:30am
2. layover in London (sightseeing)- 8 hrs
3. Leave London for Joburg and make connecting flight to Durban at 8:25 am- 12 hr flight, arrived at, here it comes, 7:40 am.
4. Drive from Durban to Port Shepstone-2 hrs

Yeah. Landing in Joburg at 7:40 gave us 40 minutes to get through customs reclaim our luggage, change terminals recheck our luggage, get boarding passes and board the plane before the gate closed at 8:15. Keep in mind we're a group of 25 as well. HA. Needless to say this did NOT work out. So we got all our junk together and camped in front of the ticket counters while the head hanchos checked out the other flights. Turns out there was flights out to Durban every hour or so, but every single one of them is booked solid because the biggest horse race in South Africa happened to be the next day, Saturday July 5. So we were all put on standby along with 15 other strangers in the same boat.  Everything is up in the air..Literally.

Coming off the plane in Joburg we had 3 people sick, and a Hunter with swollen feets, so I started to pray. Then we found out about the missed flight and I prayed some more. Then when we all got separated and told 4 different things I just had to keep remembering that God was still in control somehow. What a test it was. 

I'm just having to remember How big God is today, and how much bigger He is than any travels issues, or airport screw ups. It's been a trying few days for me since Sunday, and I'm not pretending to be ok at all, because I don't think I am. I'm a pretty future oriented person, i'm realizing, be it 20 minutes or 20 years into the future. SO after spending so much time thinking and planning my future, gripping onto my present reality is quite terrifying.

But I'm glad I'm here now. I think God is telling me it's more important to trust him for today before I trust Him for tomorrow, or maybe just learn to balance it more.. I don't know. Either way, I have to trust that he knows what's best, which sucks for me, cause I want to know. Darn it! I get frustrated with God's omniscience and my no-niscience sometimes.

Thanks to everyone who is praying for us right now, and to everyone who helped me get here.

(Annnnd just as I finished writing that Jason Story came up and said we ARe booked for a flight at 6:55 am for sure, and British Airways is paying for our stay. Spending the night int he most dangerous city in the world!)

Love you guys! I know it's weird reading these all at once, but remember it was daily for me..neat to see how things work out. 

Katy

 

Futurama

There's a Spanish 1411 and Government 2301 final standing in the way of me being done with school and my first semester of college on May 8. As many other seniors are thinking, there is so little time left. Only once, maybe twice, have I stopped to be nostalgic. I was nostalgic last year, when school ended and I left for Germany two months while my best friends were here getting ready to leave. THAT made me sad.

But if we all think about it, we won't see like 90% of the people we knew in High school ever again, aside from the awkward "my wife-is-hotter-than-yours" reunions, and that's kind of sad too. I won't miss a lot of people unfortunately, but I will miss the knowing a lot of people. We'll all keep up our freshman year of college, then subconsciously drop each other.. also sad.

All this to say, sure we'll make new friends in the fall, but really, and truly, we should keep the old, at least some of them. I've come to grips with the fact that i don't have a ton of friends, but the friends I have, I know well, and can still know better. Just think how cool it'll be if we can have one or two people from high school you keep up with. I am awful at keeping up with people, like the queen of the awfuls, but after spending a summer with 25 people in Germland, I've learned how much I really need to keep up with them, and I can see how much I will need to keep up with friends here. It hurts when you get to know someone or someones so well, then all of a sudden, it ends. Sure you bump into them and reminice about the good ol days, but then your heart hurts a bit, because you want them back. Make new 'ol days. Go camping together again, go trudging through the mud. Stay out too late talking over slurpees. Go for a drive without a destination. Sign yearbooks. It can work, maybe.

Have a gr8 summer. Stay cool. U R A QT

And Let's all promise to catch up in a few years :)

Katy