The Changing of the Seasons

I think this one's gonna be really different. I think all Christmases are, but this one is going to be the most different Christmas season I've had in many years. Im surrounded by completely different people than I have been the past four years, I can't really buy any Christmas presents (which is upsetting as I usually love buying everyone thoughtful gifts) due to lack of funds. I've grown a lot, and appreciate different things in different ways now, but also I appreciate old things in new ways. Come to think of it, there's not really one thing that is the same other than family Christmas stuff, but even that might be a little bit different.

Change comes like snow this time of year. Unpredictable yet fragile, as if a doubtful thought or glance upward might scare the beautiful, mysterious fluff away.

Here's the thing.. It seems as if nothing but change has been happening to my life since Summer of this year started. And there was a multitude of triggers for this change. And how I react to all the changes has been the determining factor of the next change that happens. I said I wanted change, and I did/do, but I'm still waiting for it to level out and plateau. I guess where the snow comes in is how unpredictable and gently powerful all this has been in my life. But at the same time, how delicate this time has been.(Like snow? just roll with it) Now, how do you deal with something like this? I wish I knew. I'm stuck doing trial and error most of the time.

This brings us back to now, and Christmas time. I had kind of hoped things would be all smooth and creamy by now, but, lo and behold, I have no clue what's ahead.. in the slightest. BUT we're rolling with that. God has me in this perpetual limbo of uncertainty and inefficiency, and Gods knows when that will end. I think that's where we're (and by we're I mean "I'm") supposed to be now, if not always.

On the up side of things, I've been thinking this week of how much God has blessed me this second half of the year with the most wonderful new friends of all ages, shapes, sizes, colors, hair styles, and etc. He's put a smattering of different personalites in my path and I have never laughed so much, smiled so much, been so full, or thankful in a very long time. I will miss so very much some old Christmas traditons with old friends, but I'm excited to see what will come of these new blessings. What is Christmas for if not for that perpetual feeling of the nostalgic "warm fuzzies", or for giving giving giving? And first and oh so foremost, what is Christmas for if not for remembering that a perfect, sovereign, mighty, precious, beautiful, loving, just God became a baby in Jesus Christ so that His people could worship Him forever in Heaven and on Earth until the last of days.

Well, there's that...

P.S. Most of you have discovered or experienced my strange love for cold weather. Today was the coldest day of the year so far. Dark, gloomy, overcast, lovely, a bit transcendental when you look at the sky. Kind of made everything swirl together and calm down in my head. Freezing, but a beautiful day.