I miss childhood

I've been coming to my gradparents 700 acre ranch twice a year or more my entire life. But when I was younger this place held so much more wonder and excitement for me. I could sit and play with the dogs all day and not be bored, or go and play dress up with my cousins and make loud noises with my toys in the kids bedroom while the parents did the dinner dishes, or play in the fort for hours on end and never get bored with any of it. Things were so much bigger too. I remember not being able to reach the sink here, or see over the front of the jeep. I remember being to little to hunt, so I just walked along or sat next to whoever would let me. I remember how long of a walk to was to the cow pens, and how short it seems now. Strange how fast time goes.. I think I miss pretending the most. I was a very imaginative child and could make people out of my hands to play with on long car rides. I could play house by myself. I LOVED pretending. I think that's why this place isn't as exciting..

But in a different way, the ranch has become something totoally different for me. I appreciate the work behind all the activities like hunting and horseback riding and dinner, because now I'm big enough to do all of it where as a child I just experienced it. Also the beauty and wonder of nature is much more apparent to me now that I'm old enough to truly appreciate and love the outdoors; to be able to get up at 6 by myself and drive in a truck to the deer stand and cbe able to just sit and watch nature perform for 3 hours is a beautiful thing all it's own. Not that dress up isn't fun, but i guess what I'm saying is I found a new kind of fun. This place is like a sanctuary for me, a haven if you will. Due to lack of cell phone reception and limited internet access, i'm truly alone when I'm by myself.

I've also grown to love the organized chaos of my family. My grandmother is just that, and everyone knows her word is law. My aunt is crazy and my uncle the one to go to with questions about any kind of outdoor equipment. My cousins are wonderful and force me to feel at least 5 years younger when I play with them. My dad can always find the best movies on TV and my mom is always up for random hunting trips and late night jeep rides. My brother and sister provide older but not too old of company for me to relate to better, and they understand the "That's what she said" joke. Try explaining that to your grandma..Mix all this together and you get a lot of screaming, a lot of arguing, and a lot of fun.

but somehow at the end of the week I'm still ready to go home..

Happy new year..