Day One and Done

We’re here! It’s currently 8:07 pm on Wednesday July 1, 2009. We left on Monday June 29th… It just felt like one long day that was actually three. Nuts. But we got to London fine, and did the fastest walking tour of London that has ever been completed. Sites we hit in four hours included: Big Ben, Parliament, London Eye, Tower of London, London Bridge, Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park, a quaint little eatery by the bridge where a grilled chicken melt graced my tummy, and then we proceeded back to Heathrow Airport and flew to Johannesburg (Jo’burg affectionately), South Africa. I made friends with the captain of our plain in the elevator down to the gate, and he found out we were a Christian group, and asked me to sing him a gospel song. Naturally, I said I was a famous singer and didn’t do that kind of stuff for free. So he asked my name and where I was sitting on the plane, and said that he was going to call me out over the speaker to grace the plane with a song.. I kind of thought he was kidding, but he really wasn’t. He said after announcing the weather in Jo’burg and all that jazz that he had a special announcement: indeed, a famous Gospel singer was sitting in seat 34G and was going to grace the plane with a tune before take off. An old man and our group were the only people who really thought it was funny. But still. Who else can say the captain of a 747 lied about their musical skills to a plane full of people?

Anywho, a pleasant 11 hours in the air later, we were in Durban! Nice, chilly, pleasant, African, Durban. We were greeted by all of our luggage, and a very cheery Cala and Sara Beth Flippo (The Flippo’s are the M family who are stationed here in South Africa). We hopped on busses and drove to the Port Shepstone area about an hour away from Durban. We dropped our bags off at Skogheim (SKOGE-hime) Christian Conference Center where we’re staying, and ate a lovely lunch at the Waffle House (not what you’re thinking). After that we came back and showered for the first time since Monday, (or Sunday for some of us, but definitely not me), then had a little orientation time with Cala where she briefed us on some Zulu culture and greetings, and really gave us a taste of what their vision is for our time here, and as a whole. It is a beautiful vision, and we all feel more then blessed and less than worthy to be a part of what Father is doing in and through them for the unreached here in the Kwazulu-Natal region of South Africa.

On the plane from London to Jo’burg, I was reading in Isaiah. I wasn’t really feeling nervous, so much as anxious about how God would make a statement or reveal himself to me and the team even in the first day on the ground when we wouldn’t really be doing ministry, so much as getting acquainted with some things. But he showed up to me before we even landed:
• Isaiah 40:8- The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of the Lord stands forever.
• Isaiah 46:8-11
o “Remember this, and be assured; recall it to mind, you transgressors. Remember the former things, those long past, for I am God, and there is no other. I am God and there is no one like Me. Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things which have not been done, Saying, ‘My purpose will be established. And I will accomplish all my good pleasure…’”
He is so sovereign. He is so big. I am so powerless. I am so small. But I’m serving that God. He’s letting me be a part of his ancient work, he planned long ago, and that is more than enough to quell my anxiety. Praise God.

The team will go to Rehoboth, the orphanage tomorrow, but Taylor, Jodi, and I who are staying longer will be going to a meeting for the camp we’re doing after they leave, so we’ll miss the first morning out.

I’m going to post this as soon as I have internet, but you’ll be reading it after the fact, and I’m storing my computer at the Flippo’s house for safe(r) keeping (Momma) until apartment time.

I miss home, and it’s lovely, scruffy faces, but am overjoyed at the blessing of this time. Thanks for sending me and supporting me with continued prayers and thought. We feel them all.

Love you all!

Katy

Stranger things have happened in a year's time

I leave Monday for South Africa until August 7th! I will be updating this blog frequently I anticipate, so be checking back throughout the summer for updates and pictures on here and facebook!

www.katykrik.blogspot.com

Pray pray..I'll miss you State side people.

Read Isaiah 46 if you ever question God's power over anything. And oh how this God loves us.

Be safe and courageous my friends.

Katy

Hi, My Name is:

I mentioned a couple posts back about trying to tag stages of my life with adjectives (or other grammatical words, as I'm not sure what this coming word is) , and I think I have a new one:

This stage is called Digging.

Digging through thoughts, Digging through decisions, Digging through feelings, Digging through my spirit.

I couldn't tell you in so many words what I'm Digging "for" persay, maybe because I haven't finished yet. Kind of waiting for that tell-tale "Thump" that always happens when people are Digging for a chest, or coffin, or time-capsule in movies. I'm waiting for the shovel to hit something solid.
Maybe I can say what I'm NOT Digging for? Yeah, I'll try that.

I'm not Digging for contentment, as I don't want to be content with where I am right now, and I mean that in a non-locational sense. I don't know if I ever want to be content. Not that it wouldn' be nice, it just seems kind of dangerous.

I'm not Digging for answers, which is strange, because I don't have a lot of questions right now. For the first time in a long time I am not consumed with curiosity. Praise.

I'm not Digging for happiness, because I am not sad. But at the same time, I'm not completely happy. And that's ok . Happy people normally don't go around Digging.

I'm not Digging for treasure. I'm fairly sure of that, but I won't complain if that's what I find.

I think most of all, I'm not Digging just for the sake of Digging. That's a good thing to know.
And so, I wait for a thump; something to tell me that this pile of dirt behind me was covering something important.

But maybe, I just needed to Dig.

Swings in that Park

Tonight, I cried..
A tear for him, tears for her.
But mostly, I cried for them. I cried for them all.
I think they needed someone to cry for them.
Tonight, I cried.

The Changing of the Seasons

I think this one's gonna be really different. I think all Christmases are, but this one is going to be the most different Christmas season I've had in many years. Im surrounded by completely different people than I have been the past four years, I can't really buy any Christmas presents (which is upsetting as I usually love buying everyone thoughtful gifts) due to lack of funds. I've grown a lot, and appreciate different things in different ways now, but also I appreciate old things in new ways. Come to think of it, there's not really one thing that is the same other than family Christmas stuff, but even that might be a little bit different.

Change comes like snow this time of year. Unpredictable yet fragile, as if a doubtful thought or glance upward might scare the beautiful, mysterious fluff away.

Here's the thing.. It seems as if nothing but change has been happening to my life since Summer of this year started. And there was a multitude of triggers for this change. And how I react to all the changes has been the determining factor of the next change that happens. I said I wanted change, and I did/do, but I'm still waiting for it to level out and plateau. I guess where the snow comes in is how unpredictable and gently powerful all this has been in my life. But at the same time, how delicate this time has been.(Like snow? just roll with it) Now, how do you deal with something like this? I wish I knew. I'm stuck doing trial and error most of the time.

This brings us back to now, and Christmas time. I had kind of hoped things would be all smooth and creamy by now, but, lo and behold, I have no clue what's ahead.. in the slightest. BUT we're rolling with that. God has me in this perpetual limbo of uncertainty and inefficiency, and Gods knows when that will end. I think that's where we're (and by we're I mean "I'm") supposed to be now, if not always.

On the up side of things, I've been thinking this week of how much God has blessed me this second half of the year with the most wonderful new friends of all ages, shapes, sizes, colors, hair styles, and etc. He's put a smattering of different personalites in my path and I have never laughed so much, smiled so much, been so full, or thankful in a very long time. I will miss so very much some old Christmas traditons with old friends, but I'm excited to see what will come of these new blessings. What is Christmas for if not for that perpetual feeling of the nostalgic "warm fuzzies", or for giving giving giving? And first and oh so foremost, what is Christmas for if not for remembering that a perfect, sovereign, mighty, precious, beautiful, loving, just God became a baby in Jesus Christ so that His people could worship Him forever in Heaven and on Earth until the last of days.

Well, there's that...

P.S. Most of you have discovered or experienced my strange love for cold weather. Today was the coldest day of the year so far. Dark, gloomy, overcast, lovely, a bit transcendental when you look at the sky. Kind of made everything swirl together and calm down in my head. Freezing, but a beautiful day.

9(nine) hours: An Adventure through Shuffle

Time completely alone is such a uniquely fabulous thing.

There have not been many times,recently, that I am completely alone with my thoughts for a prolonged amount of time. I think that that's for a reason though. I don't need complete prolonged solitude very often. I'm a write/talk(rarely) out my thoughts and inklings, then share kind of person. I do enjoy good long conversations, those are on my top 10 favorite things list. But I think God designed prolonged solitude for reflection, or at least that's what this drive was for me.

Shuffle (in terms of an iPod) is such an interesting phenomena in my life. Doubly so on this particular drive from Dallas to Fayettville, and Fayettville to Arkadelphia. I didn't even think a lot during it. In fact there was maybe 3 minutes of silence the entire time. I was more led through thought processes by my 2.6 day, 933 song, long playlist I'd carefully constructed for this undertaking. It was like there was a train of music trudging through all these experiences and ponderings I've been harboring in my head the past months or so. This train would pick up a thought here, a possibility there, and would keep on trudging through different songs/stations and drop off these"passengers" in a different/new area of thought, and things just began to click. Some songs provoked a more spiritually provoking "passenger" to get on the train, and it would sit down and talk to another passenger who might be a simple emotion or an observation I've been neglecting to process. Before I knew it, a lot of inputs my heart and head have been processing for a long time, became outputs at last. Solidified, fixed, and encoded, for the most part.

I've been trying to tag stages of my life with words lately. Mostly, just for fun, but also for some much needed introspection. The word I came up with after this Train ride in my car was this:

Free.

I can't express how surprised I was to discover this adjective. The thing is, it's noun form (freedom, for those of you not following), was not what came to mind. (I have not seen fit to say I am experiencing freedom, because I have recently decided that I do not have freedom, as I am, or strive to be, a slave to Christ.) I am feeling free in every aspect of the word.

For some reason God has chosen these past two moths or so for me to be broken before Him, and because of Him, alone. I've been going through this healing time a bit blindly, and whenever I decided I was better, Father would knock me back down and shake his head, saying "You're not done healing until I say so. And you won't be done until you do it my way, ye of little faith." So, that's been the story of my heart: Trial and error. Lots of trials, and many errors have led me to now, the end before the beginning. This beginning is me seeing how endlessly helpless I am without Christ, and acting this realization out as best I can. I've never been that (past tense feels good) broken inside and out in my life, and I am a huge believer in Father using brokenness to draw us to himself, and this time has been no exception. I didn't resist his drawing, but I just came a little slower than He would've liked, I think. I prayed that I would be desperate for Him and boy did he answer. Desperation galore. Someone wise once told me that the "desperate prayer" is one of the most dangerous prayers you can pray, and I prayed before praying it, and it's what I needed.

I don't have an adjective for this new stage yet, because it just opened up this past week/weekend, but I'll let you know when I find it. Until then, this train of thought will be loading and unloading for a while, I hope. I only got through 276 songs, so I've got about 700 songs of thinking left to do.

But hey, how many roads, right?

P.S. Cold weather makes me sit and think a lot, as well. Get your scarves and gloves ready. :)

Talks and Rocks

Don't read into that title...

I suppose it's the "about to leave for college"-ness, and the "school startingness" that hangs over Rockwall this time of year that causes people to want to catch up more than usual, but I have really enjoyed it. I'm actually kind of upset at myself for putting it off until there's two weeks left, because I've been missing out this past year on some super neat people. I've always been one to enjoy good long talks about anything and everything with some depth and meaning mixed in, and in like the past week, I've had like 5 good conversations. I miss that. These talks used to be a weekly occurrence for me, but they haven't been before this summer.  

I don't have a ton of deep thoughts.. mostly just ready for a new normal. I very vividly recall typing that sentence about 2 years ago on xanga, and didn't expect to be typing it again this soon, but here we are none the less.  And not just because the old normal is gone and college is starting and I'm curious about new people and stuff, but what is normal going to look like for me in a year? Two? Ten? I have no clue. and I'm ready for a clue. But just that Don't bring the curtain up, but at least stick a sign out saying when the show will start. Normal is something totally relative, but what I feel like my life is right now is not normal.. It's very in between and something's going to give in me. Something about me will leave or something new will come in, just like it did last time I typed that sentence and what the HECK is it..

I've mentioned this to a couple of friends about how the first two or three weeks of college will be everyone sizing each other up, and first impressions and all. And i've been thinking, what an opportunity to seize. These people don't know who I am, what I'm about, and better yet, what my major flaws are. I have this golden ticket to get rid of the things I want to change, and no one will be the wiser, and I will be better for it. How often in life does that happen? where you're thrust into an environment where everyone is strangers pretty much, and it's up to you to show them who you are.  Of course I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not, and I'm not going to put on an act, but I want to start to practice things I've learned that could better myself and the way I represent Father to others. For starters : Gentleness. A quality that gets passed over usually, but one that is so needed in my life. I don't think I'm super abrupt or too in your face or critical, but I'm definitely not someone who would be described as gentle, I don't think. When I walk into a room, I'm pretty sure that other's spirits aren't more at rest than before. When I open my mouth, I don't spread peace with the content and tone of my words. Am I always approachable? Am I always ready to calm a storm? Sure I don't want to be this calm docile creature who is always smiling and saying "God bless you..I mean it", but from different sources, first impressions of me have been that I am intense. My sarcasm is over the top, and they are scared to get too close to me. How heartbreaking. I'm sure Jesus was funny. I know for a fact the greatest missionary ever (Paul) is one of the sassiest sarcastic people I've ever heard of, but it's the timing. It's the tones, it's the faces that accompany words, it's body language, it's the turning it off when I need to that makes and breaks my efforts to be gentle. And something that must come with gentleness I've discovered is discernment and wisdom beyond anything I can do by myself. I've been praying for wisdom since I was in 11th grade and I feel that God has blessed me with a good bit, but do I use it in the right ways, and places, if at all as much as I need to? It's a lot of pressure..But this is way to valuable an opportunity to give up on. I've kind of started to get better, but being Gentle is a lot harder than just shutting up more than normal.. and with that, I leave you with this..Somehow, that Paul always knows how to get me. Darn him!

Colossians 4:5-6 Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders. Make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversations be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

seriously??...did I not just say I needed to do all of that? It's like Jesus lives inside me or something and tells me what needs to happen, and if I don't listen, he just does it anyway..

and THAT, my friends, was sarcastic. 

P.S.- Winter, please come with haste